Down & Out

I've lost friends recently...quite a few. Folks I've known since grade school. And although nothing has been said to me directly, I know it's because of my Paganism. Frankly, it hurts....badly.

I understand that ignorance defines fear, but these ex-friends know me. And I just can't help but think, if they'd just take five minutes to do a little research...this breaking of relationships would be completely unnecessary. I really try to live my life by example. I figure if I'm my typically happy, optimistic, friendly, loyal, honest self...that, in and of itself, speaks well for Pagans. Essentially, I'm simply trying to convey that fear is unnecessary. I always hope, in some deep part of my mind, they'll think to themselves, "Wow. Paganism seems a little creepy to me. But this is Bridgett and I know she'd never do anything evil. So I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and pick up some library books on the topic."

Is that too much to ask?

I can't tell you how many times I've come *this close* to sending a message something like this to these so-called friends:

I can only assume, due to your abrupt exit from my life, that you have issues with my chosen spiritual path. To this, I have only two things to say: 1. Do some research. 2. Judge not, lest ye be judged.

I seriously doubt they're booting their Muslim, Hindu, or Buddhist friends from their lives. Just me. The lone Pagan. The witch.

And yes...before you ask...I am sad. I've even gone so far as to set up a separate Facebook account using my magickal name for anonymity <-----is this spelled correctly? It doesn't look right, but spellcheck didn't catch it. I transferred everything even remotely Pagan from my main Facebook page to my witchy account. And while I love the freedom an anonymous account gives me, I resent and hate the fact I had to set it up at all.

Oh, and here's another conundrum. I've put a deposit down for a Pagan tattoo in May, in celebration of my year and a day. The tattoo is going to be a pentacle (made to look like wood), woven with daisies. I had planned to have it tattooed on my wrist, but now I'm thinking that might be too visible and cause a buttload of issues. So many Christian folks see the pentacle as the sign of the devil and I just don't know if I have the strength at the moment to educate them. I'm torn. I hate hiding a part of myself...especially such an integral part of who I am. Being in the broom closet is not for me, yet in order to keep my very sensitive heart from breaking, I must protect myself.

And so...I wait. For acceptance? For religious tolerance? For my spirituality to be 'okay' in the eyes of my Christian friends?

Yes. No. Maybe.

I'm not even sure what I'm waiting for...I just know that I must.

Blessed be, lovies.