This weekend, my family and I headed to Cowtown to celebrate my mother and brother's birthday. While there, I made a charm for my sister-in-law, which inspired this post, which is coming to me in two parts.
Part One: In order to work on the charm, I had to wait for the kids to go to bed. The main reason for this is that I needed to be able to concentrate on what I was doing, which is hard with kidlets crawling in my lap, wiping boogers on my jeans, or demanding I bring them something else to stuff in their mouths. But lurking just behind the main reason was the fact that as I learn more about how I practice and my beliefs and I mold each other, I'm not sure how to go about teaching them all this...stuff. I mean, I talk a lot about Mother Nature with them, but not THE Mother (more on this in Part Two). I point out the Moon, I try to include them in little rituals like setting New Moon goals and such, but I have a difficult time, for some odd reason, with making a religious practice part of our home.
Part of it, I think, is that Will is a Christian, although I would definitely NOT call him a fundamentalist Christian in any way. He is essentially a private man, and talking about his faith is not something he enjoys doing. I don't want to go against his beliefs or remove him from the kidlets' religious upbringing--and I have absolutely no problems with the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth.
But the other part is that there is just SO MUCH. So much I don't know yet or haven't nailed down and so much actual work that I do. There are Pagan parenting sites, of course, but many of them seem to assume that you know what the heck you're doing all the time or jump right into hardcore gods and goddesses and altars and the like. And I'm just not really sure where to start. Living Under the Buckle, I don't want to make their childhood difficult or mess with their little minds. It's just a wee overwhelming to me, trying to figure out where to start.
Part Two has a lot to do with this. As I worked the charm with my sil, I found myself "teaching her" as I went along. Everything we did, from gathering acorns and paying attention to symbols on our walk to picking the embroidery threads for the design on the charm, was accompanied by me telling her why I was doing what I did. I really enjoyed it, but it wasn't (PAUSE FOR A MAJOR FREAKOUT: My Mother stone is missing. This is my most sacred thing and I can't find it. Please send me some good "return to NotHannah" vibes, mkay?) what I usually do when I make charms. It really highlighted for me the need I have to sort of...qualify? Qualitate? Something or other...my beliefs. I feel like I should start writing it down for my own sanity. (Seriously, I've completely lost my train of thought without my Mother stone. Eep.) At the same time, it seems like a possible waste of time, because I'm not SURE about all of my beliefs.
What I am sure of is A: I look forward to hearing your thoughts and B: I look forward to getting my stone back, because I now feel like my brain is jumbling out of my head. Happy Monday. Sigh.
*UPDATE: Stone has been found, brain getting back into order. Yay!*
I've been right in your shoes since the moment I became pregnant with my eldest, Thadd, and in some ways I am still right in your shoes all of these years later. So what I am saying is: this is totally normal!
ReplyDeleteTake one thing at a time. If you aren't ready for the "hardcore stuff" then just keep talking about Mother Nature and the like. Little ones don't need all the crazy info like adults do, they are happy with just a few simple things :)
When Thadd was a baby I took him to Circle and we celebrated the Sabbats and Esbats, but after 1 1/2 years I thought maybe I wasn't really into it as much and so we haven't been back. Once he hit 6 I started with simple things and as he started asking questions I gave him more information. (In fact I just wrote a post about how we smoosh science and religion in our home).
I don't know if there's a UU church where you are, but I find them to be a wonderful "bridge" between ideologies and helping to explain things. They are totally Pagan friendly (in fact my UU church's children religious education director is Pagan!) and you and the fam might enjoy it :)
As for finding your Mother Stone, I hope it has already shown it self by the time you read this! If it doesn't show up right away begin asking for it back out loud and perhaps leave a little "treat" for Those that took it. You'll find the more magick you practice, the more you attract ;)
Cora, there IS a UU near us, and I'm so drawn to it. I think I'll be visiting there soon.
ReplyDeleteRight before I sat down to the computer, I lifted up a piece of cloth I used on the charm on my counter and there it was! Yay! (Of course, now it's covered in butter because I'm making bread. Oh, well.) Thanks for the positive energy!
:) YAY!!
ReplyDeleteCheck out the UU, really! On the top menu bar thingy on my blog you'll see The 7 principles..read that and then check out uua.org.
when my kids were young I was not on the pagan path so the wonder of how I would teach them was not there yet I do remember even then teaching them of nature and all things natural. With my grandkids, I do the same. I talk to them about nature and its changes. My granddaughter has a love for it since she was tiny so it is not hard. Teach my example... they pick up so much more than you realize..
ReplyDeleteand although you question the writing down of your work and ways... I think it is a wonderful idea. In years to come it will be a story all its own and who knows to who the wisdom you write may fall upon but to the one who needs it most. Loved your post, yet I always do.. They are always so real and true to life and the struggles that all of us go through... This blog has been a blessing to many.
I have had and still sometimes do have the same issues that you have. My two older children (age 6 and 7) just started attending full moon rituals with me in a local pagan meet up group which helps a little.
ReplyDeleteFor my youngest daughter who is 3 we stick to talking about nature and sometimes the Goddess. She loves to hear the myths about the gods and goddesses, I tell them just like any other bed time story without trying to attach them to religion. They usualy start with "Once upon a time their was a goddess"
I usualy look for oppertunities that life presents us to teach the children how to incorperate religion in everyday life. For example last weekend Ashley was having nightmares so we made blessed water from snow and star anise to keep the bad dreams away.
Another thing we do is make a wish on the new moon. All of these things are simple ways to l give them a basic understanding should the choose to follow this path when they are older.
As for my husband who is a Christian, I feel no obligation to him to raise my children that way. He knew that I was pagan before we had children and we did not get married in a Christian church so I made no promises to a clergy to raise my children that way. The children have been exposed to both religions and have even attended Sunday school a few times. But I do feel it is important that I don't feel any hesitation about teaching them my religion because children are very reseptive and they may pick up on it and think that one religion is more valid than the other.
Ya gotta get your own shit together before you can teach. Kiddos don't need theology, anyway; they need rules on how to live a good life. "Don't squish the caterpillar...it's alive! Hello, Mr. Caterpillar!" is probably more effective than "Don't squish the caterpillar, because its ultimate transformation into a butterfly is symbolic of our own journey around the wheel," anyway.
ReplyDeleteApplaudes to the one right above me (eatclosetohome)... Exactly right!!!
ReplyDeleteI have two daughters and haven't made a huge effort to "teach" them but just include them in everything. We do herbal things outside and my 5 year old has helped cast the circle since she was 2. I also go out and "find" the moon with them at night. Circle Round, the book is pretty good too with some nice stories in each chapter. A lot of the sabbat things are common to our "christian" culture or overlap of traditions. The foods are seasonal in nature, egg dyeing, pumpkin carving, etc. My oldest daughter has also played some games with the tarot cards. There is a book called Tarot Games which is kind of fun. I could go on...:)
ReplyDeleteI agree about the UU church. I started going back to a multi-faith Metaphysical Society church and it's a great way to absorb some teaching from many faiths!
ReplyDeleteI don't have children, but spend alot of time with my neices. One is really interested in all things Pagan, and one isn't. So I just explain what I'm doing in the easiest way for them to understand and leave it to them to ask me questions if they want to. I'm sure you are doing just fine!
I teach my kids just as I would everything else. I too refer to the Godess as mother nature for the moment. I think when they are old enough to realize whom they can trust and whom they cannot I will begin to explain to them my reasons for not being fully open.
ReplyDeleteI too am afraid that they will mention something to someone that would be less than tolerant and in our area that is all it takes. You could get exhiled for not wearing matching socks in our area; it's ridiculous.
I go about my teaching much as I always have for christian holidays. I just leave out some of the terminology that I think could spiral into a mess for such young pagans.
When you read my blog,it is mainly based on my journey as a new pagan and resources I find that can incorporate some pagan ideas for the many sabbats, yet still not be too far fetched to cause any rifts between my kids and their friends. Sad but true.
Thank Goddess you found your stone! Eeek.
ReplyDeleteAs for teaching our kids...Doug and I just had a conversation about this last night. Or, rather, an argument. He's agnostic and while he doesn't say much about me teaching the kids Paganism, I've seen him roll his eyes a time or two (including Imbolc when Autumn got to burn herbs in her cauldron for the first time).
That shit just doesn't sit well with me.
I said, "Do you really expect me to not answer Autumn's questions? Would you rather me leave her in the dark about what I'm doing? If you want to teach her why you choose to be agnostic, that's fine with me. And if my parents want to take her to Sunday school, that's fine with me too. So be respectful and let her help me with my altars and smudge if she damn well wants to!"
It was exactly those words, but it was close.
The one thing with me...I refuse to 'force' any of my craft onto the kids. I was forced to attend a church I truly couldn't stand when I was growing up and I've resented that fact ever since. Religion is personal and shouldn't be decided for another person.
And yea, I'm totally off topic here. LOL
I just don't have much advice about the actual topic, but I'm in your shoes as well. :)