I just got finished reading Moon Daughter's GORGEOUS description of her New Moon ritual, and I have to say it left me feeling both inspired and deflated. Inspired because it was such a personal, thoughtful process for her and deflated because I didn't have an experience like that.
This New Moon left me feeling...silent. Brooding. Worried. I'm not sure the cause of it; I'm still trying to puzzle it out.
Part of it, I think, is because it's brown widow season here and I've been finding a lot around: in my compost heap and at the homes of two of my Meals On Wheels clients. I am used to finding them this time of year and I shouldn't be as freaked out as I am by now, but this year, they felt like a portent--a warning to be careful and watchful and wait. I feel a strong sense of the need to harvest and plan for the future, but not in a refreshing kind of Autumn, New Moon way.
This is tied, I'm pretty sure, to the growing dismay I have over the behavior of some of my fellow Americans. The rage that many people feel toward Muslims of all type feels dangerous to me, like a fever that might kill you if you aren't careful. I can't help but feel, as the wheel turns toward the time of year that is most sacred to me, a sense of danger from those people. I wrote about it on I'm Not Hannah, from a primarily political perspective, but I'm wondering if any of YOU have those same feelings.
Another part of it is that I'm starting to think about creating and selling charms and charm-related items. This feels great to me on one hand and kind of weird on the other. I love to share my charms with people, but I am anxious about selling them. Perhaps I should do a Tarot reading to sort of figure it out?
Add to it the sort of nerve-wracking work I'm trying to do for the new Divining Women site and there's a whole lot of creative snarlings-up in my brain.
Anyway, all of this together meant that on the New Moon, I felt so spiritually overloaded that I just couldn't come to the Water. I'm not sure that I would have been able to release anything good and I don't want to ask for anything, as I'm asking already for clarity.
So I was silent. I didn't recharge my travel charm, I didn't get naked in the backyard, I didn't even take a ritual shower. I was mindful all day of the New Moon, feeling it heavy inside me, where I usually feel a sense of purpose and beginnings.
I'm not sure how to take this. I don't feel guilty about not participating, but I do feel sad about missing out on companionship, and I hate the idea of the movement languishing away. I think I'll work some sort of building ritual or make a charm as the Moon waxes to try to focus more on my goals and then work with a divination practice on the Full Moon?
Did you celebrate the New Moon? Did you Meet at the Water? I'd love to hear about it...
OH! I almost forgot! Today is the last day to comment and enter the drawing for the Ellen Dugan Mabon book. Go here to enter if you haven't already.
Also, I'm heading up NaBloWriMo this year. Basically, it's a challenge for the month of October to blog every day for the month. As of yet, there aren't any prizes going on (I might offer a blog makeover for the fun of it), but the challenge itself is a prize. I've met sooo many wonderful people through NaBloWriMo, people who I consider my friends. If you'd like to join us, you can visit the NaBloWriMo site here.
Have lovely days, my friends...